Entry 1

Something that has always stuck with me was how when you needed to talk to me you always got down on my level. It used to scare me knowing that I could never overpower you, that you were bigger and stronger than me. That day you came to talk to me in art its always stuck with me how you took the time to come in there despite my protest, pull up a chair, and put yourself below me to speak to me. I had people watching me like a hawk that day. I had been talking about how frustrated I was with you and how I felt like you weren't listening and they all said I should end it for once and for all when you showed up. Seeing you sit down in front of me and below me, looking up at me the way you did, it made me want so badly to forgive you and let you back in. My reputation has always meant so much to me that I didn't realize how much it was hurting my relationship with you. I let others tell me what to do instead of listening to my heart when it came to you. I still battle that now, "what would my friends say if you got back with him" my mind says, but oh my heart wants nothing but you. If i betray my friends it can be repaired and I can weed out the worst, but if I betray you I betray myself. I can never leave you behind again and so now I'm stuck sitting below you, waiting for my turn again.

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